I’m Still Figuring It Out


The Journey

My blogging journey has been an interesting esting and insightful one. It helps to write about it all, to make sense of it all. I tend to avoid thinking about my future, the thought of it makes me really anxious. At the same time living in the moment can be also be tricky at times. 

If you watched my Instagram story the other day then you would of seen me briefly speak about this post, but mostly about speaking something I am going to do more of this year. When I first started blogging writing everything down in a note pad first was pretty easy for me. But lately I have experienced writers block. Thinking of blog posts ideas had become a task, when they would just come to me before. I have started to record myself speaking to help me word what I want to say. Sometimes thinking too hard really doesn't help with creativity. So now I am going to let my thoughts loose on a recording app, listen to it, try to make sense of it and write a few blog posts.

As I didn't start blogging with the intention to make money or to even make this a successful platform, I am not really sure how to deal with the good that has come from this blog. I want to continue going with the flow but with a more professional stance.

A few blog posts on my feelings towards my progress and my blogging journey so far:

March: Book Reviews & Figuring Out My Passion

Me & AfroGlory @ Adzvice  Let's Talk Event | Photography: dpcaptures 

What's Next?

I have been asked a few times "what's next?" And I know it is a positive question, it shows that people are interested in your progress. However it is really difficult for me answer that question. Well I thought it was before I started recording myself talking to myself. Listening back to my rambles I noticed that I had created a short list of things I want to do next. Although I don't have all the answers and haven't quite figured out what is next for me. I have a few things I want to do and work on in order to progress. With so many options out there for content creators,  I wouldn't even know where to start. For now I am just enjoying the journey.

I definitely want to take my blog to the next level, not completely sure what that entails yet, but finding out is the fun part. Trying to view it all as something that will be fun, this helps remove the overwhelming feeling I sometimes get when I can't see the end result.

After attending several different events, I defiantly want to get involved more. Speaking at more events, hosting some of my own events as well. I want to explore different avenues, see what is accessible to me and at least try a few new things to find what's right for me.

Working with some more brands and black owned businesses would be amazing. That is something I am really looking forward to, and getting to understand the content creator industry better. It still feels pretty new to me, so I want to attend more brand/creatives focused events this year.

The Pressure

From time to time I do feel the pressure to figure it out and to choose something, but then I look at what I have done and what I have been able to do in such a small space of time and it reassures me that I don't actually need to figure it out just yet.

Success is scary, I have moments where I look back on how far I have come, not just in terms of my blog but also my own personal growth. It's scary knowing that my future is now in my hands, before it was easier just getting by, but since I have found blogging I feel like I need more than to just get by. I want to experience what life has to offer.

I notice the fact that I am being watched, not in a creepy stalker way. Watched in the sense that people see what I am doing and following the journey. Honestly it was easier writing blog posts feeling like nobody was reading them before, even thought that sounds really lonely (it was). I know that people are following my journey I have become super aware of it. It is a strange feeling, it's a combination of feeling really proud and wanting to share my achievements, but I also miss being lowkey and ignored. It is strange what we become used to. I think others woguld agree that being watched does put a little bit of pressure on you to make sure you deliver.

I still haven't gotten my head around the opportunities that have come from me just being me. It doesn't feel real, most of the time I play everything down, making it seem like the big deals are small, making it easier for me to accept. 

What Works?

Saying yes to opportunities that scare me, saying yes to roles that I don't completely believe I qualify for. Essentially I have been winging it up to this point. Now things are getting more serious,  I actually need to know what I am doing. Awkwardly smiling at people you follow on Instagram from across the room won't cut it lol.

When I started blogging a lot of my content was based on my thoughts on youtube videos and articles. I want to get back into that. There has been several podcast conversations that have sparked thoughts so I want to get back into using that material to create blog posts.

I ignored the importance of consistency till I saw what I could achieve. I am aiming to be more consistent and remain up to date with my content. Pre-planning content and drafting a lot more. I need to get back into the swing of scheduling posts, I got lazy and would schedule one post a few days, minutes, seconds before it would go live.

Change

I know I want to make a difference in this world, I want to be part of the change. I want to do something that will benefit the community. I haven't figured out exactly what yet, but that will come.

I need a change of scenery, after watching Kristabel's My Freelance Blogging Journey - Mistakes, Tips & Finances! Video, I started to think about my blogging space. I rarely blog outside of my bedroom. I might jot down some ideas whilst on a bus or train, but the one time I went to Costa to get some blogging done I got distracted and hardly got anything done. So I am in the process of finding some comfortable, inspiring and blogging friendly spaces other than my bed.


I want to change my blog theme and layout again. I am an indecisive person as it is, but when I look at my blog I do not see me, at the same time I don't really know what "me" looks like as a blog layout.

I have been wanting self-host my blog for a while now, but as I am no Internet expert I am waiting to figure out what it really means to own my name as a Url and how to go about it for the best results. I would of liked to start 2018 with a new layout and ditch the ".blogspot" but I do not want go rush this, i want to take my time and really think about the best way to give my blog a new look.

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I just want to let anyone who needs to hear this know that you don't need to have it all figured out yet. There is so much to learn, take your time and appreciate your current situation. Explore new avenues, use this time to make mistakes and network. Networking isn't always easy, but it is rewarding.

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Email me: Saabirahlawrencexo@gmail.com

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