My Body Confidence Journey

I have spoken about fat shaming, dressing for my body shape, my feelings towards people pointing out my weight and my own body issues on my blog before. As a lot in my attitude towards my weight has changed I wanted to write a little update.

My posts addressing weight, being plus size & body confidence: 

The idea to write this post actually came from asking myself; Am I body positive? My initial response was "yes and no".

What does body confidence mean to me?

Body confidence to me just means being confident in your own skin. It's that unconditional love you have for yourself.

Body Confidence & Me

I'm not sure if I can say I'm completely body confident, there is still work to be done. It's one of those "it's complicated" relationships. At the moment I can say that my weight doesn't bother me as much as it used to.

I have surrounded myself with people who don't constantly criticise their appearance. A lot of people don't realise the negative affect that has one others around them. When I'm not feeling very body positive, the last thing I want to do is be around someone who has nothing good to say about themselves.

Compliments help! This kind of relates to my first point but, my own self confidence doesn't always come from within, a lot of the time it is from others. Ideally I would want that confidence for myself and it will come, for now being around people who compliment you and make you feel good about yourself really helps to accept the parts of you that you might not like.

I'm more concerned about my health, not so much weight now. Obviously my weight relates to my health, but It can be overwhelming trying to focus on your weight and health at the same time. So I have decided to focus on my health, I say after eating KFC πŸ™ˆ. I want to focus on eating better and drinking more water, my water intake is pretty poor.

My recent shopping trip with Shahira (afroglory) confirmed that I am not 100% happy with my body. Trying on clothes has always been something I have had a love/hate relationship with, finding clothes to fit, having your smaller friend try on an outfit and look 1,000 times better than you, it was all too much. However i will say that the fitting room is where style and experimenting gets interesting. I have tried patterns and clothes that I can 100% say either looked great on me or items that needed to come off as soon as possible.

I hate seeing every lump, bump and roll but in those changing rooms there's no escaping it, so I made the decision to accept it. I am able to have those conversations with myself now, whereas before my first thought would be "put your clothes back on right now!".

I put on this jumpsuit and felt a little unsure about the pattern, but hearing Shahira say It looks good on me helped....this is the point when I started to feel myself and vogue'd it up in the changing room.

Dana Falsetti believes that nothing limits a person more than self-talk.
— SELF Magazine (@SELFmagazine) November 18, 2017

I wouldn't go to the extreme of saying that I no longer care, because as soon as anyone makes a negative comment about my body I will crumble lol. However a recent boost of confidence has definitely helped to shift the focus onto my achievements and not what I look like.

I feel content, it's not a constant thought but I'm no longer worried about hiding my body. I have noticed that the negative opinions I have of my body aren't as frequent as they used to be, that's an achievement in itself.

I wasn't actively trying to improve my body confidence, I just shifted my focus. Essentially I distracted myself long enough for it to become a passing thought. I definitely wanted to be body confident, but I wasn't putting the unnecessary pressure on myself. 

The encouragement from black women I admire is so needed, especially for me. That validation can really boost a chicks confidence.

"Women are told how to feel and look! Now, on top of that Fat women are forced to digest information and opinions projected by society, which they are later forced to unlearn. How can I unlearn something I never digested?! See visibility of Fat bodies, equally celebrating their lives and successes is what my purpose is. So, I beg take your false health concerns & envious oppression and stick it where the sun clearly don't shine for ya...cause I slay I slay All day ...We Gon Slay We Gon Slay All day " 🌟THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SEEING MY LIGHT @missguided POWER TO YOU ALL πŸ’žπŸ’–πŸŒŸ #ewurajaja #babesofmissguided #MyGirlEnam #EnamxMissguided #Missguided #campaign #fatgirljoy #fatgirlmagic #bodypositive #art #blacknatural #afro #style #fashion #blog #plussize #plussizemodel #model #BlackGirlMagic #photography #beauty #makeup #ghanaian #African #universiodamaquiagem_oficial
A post shared by Enam Ewura Adjoa Asiama (@enamasiama) on

Feeling good enough in my achievements is a new feeling for me, self doubt comes and goes for sure, but I feel like I am managing it much better.

I'm no longer focused on that negative energy, in order for me to keep this feeling going I will continue to wear the clothes that make me feel confident and comfortable. I will continue to associate myself with amazing talented men and women. I will continue to speak positively on my achievements.

With a belt this would be super cute!

Let me know if there's anything you do to remain body positive.

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