Busty Black Girl Talks w/ Dafroambiance


To celebrate Black History month, one of things I have decided to focus on is the beauty of thick black women, in particular breasts. As you know breasts comes with its useful functions as well as its curiosity. They come in all shape and sizes and somehow manage to have the ability to affect our self-esteem depending on the individual  - in this post I have teamed up with Damilola of dafroambiance to have an interactive discussion on our experiences and tips on having and embracing big breast.

From the B TO BIG?

SAABIRAH:  I'm on the bus, on my way home and I look down at my chest, randomly. Which then sparks a bunch of thoughts.

£22 for one bra? 

Where did you guys even come from?

I can't wear that, there's too much boob showing.

It honestly feels like this all happened overnight. There was no real build up, I don't even remember buying training bras. I felt as if I was forced into the 30B+ crew without any training, just left to figure it all out. I missed out on a couple of letters in the alphabet. Went from; B to D to F to G... looks a lot my GCSE results to be honest *triggered


DAFRICANLADY: I was on my way to West End with a close friend of mine and just for the fun; we decided to get our breasts measured at House of Fraser. Mind you, I had on a 36B sized bra at the time. So when the shop assistant came with 30H, I screamed! I didn’t even know size 30 existed. My head couldn’t get around the letter H. I was so shocked that I went to two other stores to double check. The matter didn’t even help when popular retail stores didn’t have my new bra size as part of their collection. Bravissmo became my best friend.

TIP: Get your breast measure every 6 months and more often if your weight fluctuates. I recommend going to more than one retail store on the same day. 

Cleavage and the Wardrobe

SAABIRAH:  Covering up was the easiest way for me to deal with this sudden growth. I called myself a tomboy, when in fact I just didn't want to draw any attention to my body. I was comfortable in baggy jogging bottoms and big tees.  I remember my mum being careful with what I wore as well, There was just a constant theme of covering up.

For a long time I wouldn't wear clothes that clung to my body or anything that showed too much cleavage. The annoying thing is, a lot of the time it doesn't matter what I wore, my chest was still visible.

DAFRICANLADY: I was definitely one to cover up cleavages, still am to be honest. I don’t think wearing baggy clothes for me help. My breasts are still out there with the little waist I have. I think it is all about the type of bra you wear with what outfit. I am not a fashion guru but I had to eventually learn what tops were good at hiding my breasts and what types of bra will deceive people its actual size. This was crucial because I worked in church and I also worked a school – so my prime objective was to reduce the amount of distraction I may send out to others. Today, people don’t believe my bra size until they see me in a dress or in my swimwear – so I guess I am almost winning.


TIP: It’s important to have the centre front gore sitting in between each breast, it makes a big difference. Sometimes It just takes a blazer to minimise your chest size. I also recommend underwire for anyone above a C cup and certainly no pads! I remember a uni friend of mine asked if I had melons underneath my top.

A question I would like to throw out there: With shirts and blouses – does one have to wear a shirt two sizes up to avoid the battle of button popping?

Male Attention 

SAABIRAH:  The looks were obvious and the comments were uncomfortable. It felt like my body wasn't even mine. No matter what I wore, it's obvious that I'm top heavy. Even now the looks make me feel extremely uncomfortable.

DAFRICANLADY: With me, I still think I am sensitive to looks and comments. At times it causes me to think that my attire is a bit revealing to the eye and then for the rest of the day I won’t feel great. However, there are funny times: imagine someone driving and literally stopping in the middle of the road to shout “TWINS” at me. I didn’t even know what they meant until an hour later. Yes I am slow like this…loool

SAABIRAH:  I remember one time at school and a friend told me that someone referred to me as "the black girl with big boobs". I laughed it off at the time, and was weirdly surprised that anyone even knew who I was. Obviously I would have preferred if they knew me by name.

I always know there's a comment coming, I can't fully relax when I'm around guys, I know the comment on the size of my chest will eventually come up in conversation.



DAFRICANLADY: It’s probably easier said than done but we need to remember comments will never stop. Even if we didn’t have boobs at all – you will still have comments coming. It’s all about embracing your features from the sizes of the breasts to the stretchmarks. I ask myself would I save money to have a reduction in breast size? I wouldn’t. I may feel apprehensive about not wearing enough clothes to cover up. But I've learnt to love my breasts. I wouldn’t change them. Just the pervy looks I get at them.

SAABIRAH: I have definitely thought about a reduction and life. If I'm honest, I do not trust myself to just go under the knife once. I have many insecurities, what would stop me from dealing with all of my insecurities with cosmetic surgery? I have accepted that this is the way my breasts are and it's okay.

My breast tend to be seen as sexual, instead of functional. Which leads to a lot of suggestive comments, and I had no idea how to handle it when I was younger. I quickly realised that it would be difficult for me to be a prude, when others see you as a sexual object.

Now I'm comfortable enough to address direct comments. However if I catch a guy staring, I have to look away because it literally makes my bloody boil. I haven't been in a physical fight before and I'm not about to have one now.

DAFRICANLADY: That’s what I am talking about girl!

Becoming A Woman

SAABIRAH: I wasn't ready to be a woman and deal with big girl problems. I wasn’t prepared to be looked at as a grown woman. I didn't get to choose if I wanted to be seen as feminine, it was forced onto me.

Having a what is deemed as a Woman's body at a young age made it difficult for me to find myself. It meant that I had to grow up quicker, I had to be aware of what having a large bust means to some people, especially men. I became aware that I can't just throw myself about and do whatever I wanted. I had to make sure there was no cleavage on show before I could fully relax and enjoy myself.

As some of you may know, I don't want children. I've known this from a young age, so getting comments on how lucky my future children will be based on the size of my chest was weird. I don't know the facts but I'm pretty sure the size of your breasts doesn't determine how much milk you produce.


DAFRICANLADY: The more I think about this topic, the more I think of how much parents need to prepare and inform their children on how to look after their health and well-being, you know.
My mother, told me about periods from a really young age and at 10 when I got it. I was ready. My mother did her best for me to be honest and as a first born I grew up really fast.
But I don’t think I was mentally prepared for the dramatic physical figure change that occurred almost over night. I used to be run tracks and all of a sudden, thighs, breasts and bum came out of nowhere.

My father was a disciplinarian, so I had no choice but not to throw myself at any guy – which in hindsight I am grateful for as I wouldn’t be here today.

The biggest challenge in regards to becoming a woman was dressing up appropriately, modestly and still looking the part. It was a skill I had to develop fast in addition to the gym, healthy eating – it became a lifestyle.

TIP: My mum would create fill in the gaps sheets and different activities to encourage us to understand our bodies. I remember doing a work sheet on anatomy and also the female reproductive system. This is important to teach to both men and women. Every generation gets exposed to a whole load of information we didn't have access to, so it's important to instill as much information into your children as you can, before letting them explore this big crazy world.

Thank You Damilola for collaborating with me for my Black History Month series #BHMWithSaabirah, this won't be the last time we collaborate thats for sure. Make sure you follow Dafroambiance and her amazing Black King Series.

It would be interesting to have other sisters get involved in this conversation, please comment below, share your experinces and tips would be great also.

As we are on the topic of breasts, Damilola thought it would be a great idea to add this short video we saw on twitter. A great video on checking for lumps in our breasts.

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Email me: Saabirahlawrencexo@gmail.com

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